Cold Remedy

I have never been one for actually wishing to be sick. In fact, like most of you (minus the hypochondria set), I pretty much loathe being sick. I loathe it so much that I will go out of my way to take precautionary measures to avoid it. Some of it was probably a little counter-intuitive along the way, but it served its purpose. By that I mean that I would often actually put myself directly in the line of fire of seasonal afflictions, like coughs, colds and the flu.

Once upon a time, I used to make my living managing restaurants, with occasional bouts of waiting tables and bartending. I also attended a public university before meningitis vaccines were all the rage. Add to that a toddler who went to daycare and pre-school. If someone was going to get sick, it should have been me. It really wasn’t, though. In fact, I believe that spending all that time in close proximity of various viruses only served to make my immune system Super Industrial Ninja Strength.

With that said, I do normally get about one nasty cold per year. I haven’t had the flu in nine years, despite my best efforts. No flu shot. No Emergen-C. No nothing, really, except one mother of an immune system.*

Recently, I’ve heard of this phenomenon involving Vick’s Vap-O-Rub. Have you heard this, too? If you haven’t, allegedly, when you are sick, stuffed up and coughing up globs of alien mucous, what you should do is slather Vick’s on the bottoms of your feet, throw on a pair of socks and just lay there until you feel less miserable. From what I understand from two reliable sources, this method works wonders.

Being the cynic I am, I have been wanting to try this out for the last 4 months. Do you think I could get sick?? Hell no! I’ve gone out in the cold with wet hair, no coat and bad shoes.** I’ve stayed up late and not eaten enough. I’ve done all I can to erode my immune system enough to catch a wayward virus, short of eating used Kleenex.*** I’m healthy as can be. Therefore, I have to resort to guinea pigs. Currently, I have two people at work doing the Vick’s experiment at my behest. I shall have some feedback tomorrow.

If it turns out that it also worked on them, I will never get sick again as long as I live. If it doesn’t work, I’ll be riddled with the flu and probably a little ebola for measure by the weekend. This is how things work. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it will work, not because I don’t want to get ebola (because who doesn’t love hemorrhagic fever?), but because I suggested it and I really hate looking like an ass.

I suppose if the Vick’s fails, they can always try these.****


* It may appear that I’m jinxing myself by stating this so boldly. In reality, that is exactly what I am doing.

** If you’ll recall my frostbite post, you’ll realize how determined I really am to get sick.

*** Even I have limits.

**** Seriously…the hell?? If someone has used THOSE, I totally need to hear about it. I also want to know exactly how much crud oozed out of your feet while you slept.

Published in: on January 2, 2008 at 9:47 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’ve seen those foot detox things advertised on television. I just keep wondering who the hell buys those things and what exactly they do. I don’t buy the detox BS but…the curiosity is there.

  2. I’m curious as well. If someone threw them at me for free, I’d totally slap ’em on and see what it was all about. I can’t justify paying for them, though.

  3. As the lone most public viral affliction that strikes people today, the public cold is forever looking for new victims. If you are ten time or elder and have never had a public cold, Id say its a small miracle. Most people get them once or more a year. Because there is no heal for the public cold, remedies for colds are a active industry across the world.Im definite youve already noticed this truth for yourself. There are total shelves dedicated to remedies for colds in supermarkets and pharmacies everywhere. Most of these products aim at treating what exclusive symptoms you are having. Because each and every cold virus is unique, which is why a heal is impossible, the symptoms of the public cold fluctuate a lot. Fortunately, there are a lot of broad and public symptoms that can be treated. Coughs, sore throats, sinus congestion, pale eyes, dry eyes, gooey nose, and headache are among the more public symptoms.,

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