Scene: I get home from work, systematically dispossess myself of my wretched work clothes and hook up my computer at my desk. The child, who systematically ignores my existence other than the dead look she musters to throw at me when I walk through the door, is informing her friend that she will call her back.

Bay: Mom, I have another one of those geography map test things tomorrow, so I’m going to go in my room and study.

My interpretation: Mom, I’m going to my room to burn up about a thousand talk minutes and another 200 texts before I spend the requisite 4 minutes looking over this map and hoping for the best tomorrow.

Me: OK.

Bay: It’s Canada this time. I NEED to do well.

Me: Canada is easy. 7 provinces and 2 territories with only a handful of cities that are of any real consequence.

Bay: Easy, huh? Show me the provinces.

I start in the west and name them off as I head east. Because I am a geography rock star.

Bay: Now the territories.

Me: There is Yukon Territory and there is … what the hell? What’s the deal with the Northwest Territory? Why is it divided like that?

Bay: Because it’s the Northwest Territory and the Nunavut Territory.

Me: The What-a-vut territory??

Bay: Nunavut.

Me: Well, when did THAT happen??

I knew Europe had totally jacked itself up since my last geography class in 1984 and I made a small attempt in the mid-90’s to re-learn it but quickly lost interest. I figured I’d keep Europe on a need-to-know basis and as of this writing, I’ve not needed to know.

Canada, though…that one threw me for a loop. Apparently, this new territory showed up almost a decade ago. Did you all know this? I sure as hell didn’t. I do not recall seeing anything about the Nunavut Land Claims Agreement Act on Or Or any other web-page I frequent.

I have an odd relationship with Canada. I’ve been there, which tends to give one some sort of identity with a place…you know, having been there. I’ve also dealt with a large number of Canadians, having lived in such close proximity to the border. This doesn’t mean I like Canada, though. I don’t. I have no real affection for Canada other than feeling a need to root for them in some international competition once the United States has been removed from the mix (usually at the hands of Finland or some other Icelandic nation).

Despite my feelings on Canada, I find it offensive that I wasn’t notified about this geographic alteration. Then again, perhaps no one outside of those actively taking geography classes have been informed of this.

I imagine this is because Robin Williams was right when he said that Canada was like a loft apartment over a really great party. No one cares what’s going on in the loft.

Published in: on May 28, 2008 at 5:45 pm  Comments (2)